Please See Past Me

I know sometimes I act like i don't care But, please see past that Because deep inside i care more then you can imagine. 

I know sometimes i blow you off But, please see past that Because deep inside its my way of asking for help. 

I know sometimes i act like i seek other people's attention But, please see past that Because deep inside I'm longing and asking for your attention. 

I know sometimes i keep my feelings to myself But, please see past that Because deep inside i wanna tell you how i feel i just don't know how to bring it up. 

I know i like to say " I hate you" But, please see past that Because deep inside i mean " I love you" . 

I know sometimes i run away But, please see past that Because deep inside i wanna be close to you.

Wait for me!

When the darkness falls into your life and you have nothing to hold on to; please wait for me, because I am waiting for you. 

When you feel so far away that it cant be expressed in miles please wait for me, because I am waiting for you. 

When she comes and sits right next to you, and looks into your eyes to say: "I love you", please dont' be tempted and wait for me, For i am waiting for you. 

When the sun goes down and you dont wanna pass the moment, Please remember, there will be another day, and wait for me, For I'll be waiting for you. 

When you hear a knock at your front door, please answer, For the waiting time is over, it has all payed off, i am here this day to see your faithfull face, look streight in to your eyes and say: "I've been waiting all my life for this moment to come" "For my love is even bigger now; for you survived the waiting struggle!"

Think of me!

When the waters get so high and you have time to ask why; just think of me, and I'll be there before you. To hold your hand, through all the rough waters. But when it comes to be so calm, I'm sorry but I will have to go, Until another day of fear comes along and you will only have to say my name and i will be there to help. But not for long, because my time is running out. And soon you will have to stand on your own two feet; for i will leave and put my faith into your success. You can only rely on me for so long and then you have to find a mind of your own. For I am your angel that answers your call. And when you dont' hear me; please dont' worry for I'll be there; just temperarily To pull your hand to get back up and then I'll leave to see you smile. No matter what, i will not be too far away just maybe a mile. But no matter what I do remember I will always be there for you. Mayebe not in person, but always in your thoughts and spirit. But please dont be discouraged, I am there even though you cant see me For any time you are in need, just think of me adn I will be there. For God has made special plans for you and me.

I am sorry!!!

I am sorry that i cannot look into your eyes, For inside I am doubtfull and fearfull. 

I am sorry that i cannot let you hold my hand, For i am too shamefull. 

I am sorry that i cannot say "i love u", For i do not know what love is. 

I am sorry i cannot make a commitement, For i am too afraid to fail. 

I am sorry for pushing you away, For I am afraid to get close. 

I am sorry for saying "yes" to things i shouldnt have, For "no" has never been part of my life. 

I am sorry to say "I have let you go", For i cannot stay with you, because To see you suffer would cause me too much pain. And i dont wanna make you suffer, For you deserve much better. So, if i am out of your life, You dont' need to worry, For I'll be long gone, before You can say "come back", For it is better this way!

heartbeat

With every creak of hallway doors,
I jump right out of bed.
To see if its at all possible that
It could just be you.
With every phone ring,
I race to hear somebody say:
“I am here, I am well”.
But you are still gone and it’s ok
Because with every sound I hear,
I think of you.
It’s disappointing to hear those useless
Creaks and rings, but I know that
Every time they happen,
I can feel your heartbeat.
That’s enough for me.
Everyday I stop to think of all
The times we spent together.
They make me smile and in my heart
I know that you are smiling at them with me.
Every night when I go to sleep,
I only dream of you.
Cuddled in your clothe,
I feel so comforted by you.
And every day when I wake up,
I miss you very much.
I long for closeness to you.
But you are not here, and it’s ok.
Because I can feel your heartbeat, and
That’s enough for me.
I know that not all dreams come true,
But I know that one-day when I’ll wake up
I will see you right next to me.
At that point,
There will be no more questions or dreams.
For all my dreams would have come true.
All this time I only longed for you,
To see you next to me and
Put my hand on your heart and say:
“I love you”.
All this will be enough for me.


By: Irina Rock-Gilbertson
Aka
Irinni Beninni

Love

You know, there is no possible way of letting someone know how much you love him or her. It cannot be explained in words and can only hardly be shown through actions. Love is a feeling and it comes from inside of a person. Love is often berried deep inside a person: beneath all the hurt and silence. Once in a while it can be seen through the eyes: but eyes can be deceiving. Eyes are not always true, but they can say a lot: only if you look deep inside of them and search for the truth. It’s time taking but if you wait you’ll see, love is always inside. It doesn’t need to be seen by others: only by those to whom it belongs. Love cannot just be taken away; it cannot disappear. Although it can be forgotten or even unseen for some time, it will always exist. Someone can try to push it away but they cannot make it disappear. It can also be lost or even misunderstood. But it is felt the most when it’s at danger; when you feel like you may loose it. That’s the worst feeling there can possibly be. As many have said it: “You don’t know what you got until it’s gone”. It’s true you know; love is shown the most when a person feels like he/she may loose it. Love isn’t just a word or an action; it’s the person him/her self. Love is everlasting and will always be the same for you.

By: Irina Rock-Gilbertson
Aka
Irinni Beninni

goodbuy and keep cold

I wake up in the morning

to see your ugly face.

Its full of mud and blood;but

still the same old stare.

Why cant you just leave me be and

let me have a breath.

For you only like to see me suffer and

take my every breath away.

But one day I will have my chance

to breath you'll be sitting in the corner

crying out for help.

For I will walk by you and wanna say

"Fuck You", but no

I am too nice to do that, and

I will come back to give you a hand.

And then once again I will be imprisoned,

to see that ugly stare, to know

that you will be laughing while

I will pass away.

The years will fly by and

I wont have to suffer.

For i am long gone, underground.

While you are standing above my grave,

trying to find a new toy to see them suffer

the pain you never felt;

But wait till your day comes and you

will be walking in the cemetery to say your last goodbyes.

But I will come from out of no where(underground)

to only grab your hand to pull you down behind me, and

see your ugly stare!But no this time you're crying

while i get to sit and stare to see you go down and

never again hear you say "you are mine" for

I am long gone and you got long ways to go down

and don't worry you will be around

to feel the pain you have caused me;

until then goodbye and keep cold.